Ask Coach KFos: Ask a Woman Out Like a Grown-Up - Kelsey Foster

Ask Coach KFos: Ask a Woman Out Like a Grown-Up

by Kelsey on March 15, 2013

This week’s question: How to ask a woman out like a grown-up


“I’ve been divorced for about a year and I’m ready to start dating. In fact, there is a woman I’m thinking of asking out. So much has changed from when I dated in college nearly 20 years ago (where I met my ex-wife) and I’m not sure the best way to ask someone out these days. Advice?”

Dear New-Again Dater:

Congrats on taking the steps to put yourself out there post-divorce! I also commend you for seeking advice and realizing that what worked back in college probably isn’t the best approach for you now. My advice? Be direct! Women want to be asked out in a clear manner. A simple “Can I take you out for a drink?” works. When she says “Sure!” you then follow up with “Great! Are you free one night next week?” and go from there. Whatever you do, don’t be vague or wait to set the actual date and time until later. Be specific. Set the date and time right then, you can always decide the place later.

When it comes to setting the place, you can ask for ideas like what part of town is good for her or what are some of her favorite places, etc. Then you make the suggestion/decision. Very simple yet soooo many men seem to get tripped up with this step. By being specific, as well as asking for some input from her, you come across as confident and considerate which is always attractive!

Do you have a question for me? Shoot me an email at and you might be featured on an upcoming Ask Coach KFos!

Sign Up!

Previous post:

Next post: