Ask Coach KFos: Hangin is for Surfers - Kelsey Foster

Ask Coach KFos: Hangin is for Surfers

by Kelsey on April 25, 2013

This week’s Ask Coach KFos: Hangin’ is for Surfers (men listen up!)

Kelsey Foster Relationship Advice

“I’m SO TIRED of men not asking women out on dates any more! It seems like they all want to do this whole vague hangout (and hookup) thing. I want to hold out for a guy who will actually court me but I’m afraid if I do, I will be alone forever. Where are the grown up men these days?”

Dear So Tired – I hear you, girl. This is a giant issue that a lot of women are dealing with. I hear it a LOT.

I get the feeling that by you saying you “want to hold out” for a guy who actually asks you out on a date means you are settling for the guys who do the vague hangout/hookup approach. Stop that. Here is my advice on how to handle that. The next time a guy doesn’t ask you out but does the whole vague-thing, tell him that you’d love to go out on a date but he needs to ask first. Say it with a smile and in a playful way. But hold your ground. He will get the hint and if he wants to date you, he will step up and ask you for that date.

Here is where I want the MEN TO LISTEN UP! Guys, so many of you, for whatever reason, are stuck in this place of ambiguity when it comes to dating. Maybe you are afraid of risking rejection with a direct ask-out. Maybe you’re fresh off a divorce and haven’t dated since college where the “hangout” was the norm. Maybe you are just used to women who are okay with hanging out rather than dating. Whatever the reason, hear me out. By stepping up your game and asking a woman out on an actual date, you will come off as confident which is super attractive. AND because so many other guys don’t take that step these days, you can pretty much bet that any smart and sexy woman will say YES to your invitation.

It doesn’t have to be a super fancy dinner…a simple invite to happy hour or out for dessert will suffice. Whatever the plan, just make sure it is a clear invitation for a one-on-one social outing. Now, stop hangin’ out and go and ASK HER for a date! xo

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