Ask Coach KFos: Speaking up about sex - Kelsey Foster

Ask Coach KFos: Speaking up about sex

by Kelsey on May 30, 2013

This week’s Ask Coach KFos: Speaking up about sex

“I have a question about sex. Specifically, I’ve been with my current boyfriend for about nine months. Things started off great and we just fell into our intimate relationship without ever talking about it. And I guess we’ve fallen into a rut of predictability. There are things like role-playing and toys and other stuff I’ve experienced with prior partners that I’d like to bring into this relationship. I just worry that I’ve waited so long that he might think I’m unsatisfied with how he does things. How should I bring it up to him without hurting his feelings?”

Dear Predicament of Predictability –

Funny how talking about sex can be so intimidating, even with the person we have it with, huh? First off, you aren’t alone in being hesitant to discuss this topic. However, once you take that step, it will make your connection with your partner so much richer.

First off, don’t worry about hurting his feelings. Bring up your ideas in a positive way. Rather than share that these are things you’ve done before with someone else, tell him that the idea of doing them with HIM turns you on. That way the focus is on your connection to him.

You might take a shopping trip and surprise him with some new items to introduce in the bedroom. Or, make a date and take him shopping with you. If the idea of going into a shop makes you uncomfortable, the Internet is a great way to shop discreetly.

Letting your partner know specific ways he can bring you satisfaction is very empowering and builds confidence for you both. Chances are, he has things that he’d like to explore with you, too.

Have fun! 😉

Do you have a question for me? Shoot me an email at and you might be featured on an upcoming Ask Coach KFos!

Sign Up!

Previous post:

Next post: