Dating Advice for Men

Dating Advice for Men: Respecting Boundaries

by Kelsey on March 12, 2013

Remember back in 1990 when that song More than Words came out? And how chicks thought it was a really sweet song but guys knew the words were really just sweet-talking the ladies into giving up the goods?

See, even now, dating as a grown adult, there are still guys out there who think it’s cute to do that whole “charming persuasion” tactic. Thing is, it may have worked back when you had that killer mullet and a Trans Am with t-tops, but now, you are more likely to push a good woman away with that strategy. Let me explain…

It’s an increasingly common choice that a lot of grown-adult-people have made to save “going all the way” with someone until after agreeing to be exclusive or monogamous. And it’s not just women who have this rule, there are men who make this choice as well. It’s a way to save getting physical with someone as something special at an age where it’s highly unlikely we are virgins.

So, let’s say you meet a lady you find attractive. Whether you’ve gone on a date yet or not, you flirt. You communicate via phone, text, or Facebook. Maybe you’ve even snuck in a kiss or two. These are all great signs that this lady finds you attractive, too. Then you make the coy suggestion she “come over to your place” late one evening. Of course, you are hoping she says yes…but you also sort of know she’ll probably turn you down. That’s all par for the course, really. She probably knows you will test the waters a little bit and doesn’t really mind, even though she already knows her answer will be no. Where you run the risk of taking it too far is to continue to ask for that booty call. After she’s said no. After she’s explained she saves that for a later stage in the dating process. For monogamy. When you keep asking, that’s when you become “that” guy. And that’s when she loses interest.

Don’t be “that” guy. If a person you are interested in lets you know they save getting physical for someone they are dating exclusively, LISTEN and take them at their word. Go get your booty call action from someone else. Don’t try to persuade her to alter her standards, especially if you aren’t interested in being monogamous. And for those of you who do have that rule of waiting to be exclusive-before-sex, please understand that until you are exclusive, that person you are casually dating has every right to be intimate with someone else. It’s not super fun to think about, but it’s not cheating.

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