Insights from a Phone Sex Operator - Kelsey Foster

Insights from a Phone Sex Operator

by Kelsey on April 24, 2013

Kelsey Foster relationship adviceHave you ever wondered what it would be like to work as a phone sex operator? I admit, I have. Especially with the recent movie For a Good Time, Call. I had the opportunity to meet Guliana* through a mutual friend. She is a well-educated former IT manager. Married, funny, wicked smart, kind…and a phone sex operator. We had the chance to chat recently and I am so happy she was willing to be interviewed by me!

How did you get started as a phone sex worker? (or do you call yourself a phone sex personality? actress?)

Phone Sex Operator, or PSO, is what I think we are most commonly called.

I got started in a way that I assumed was very uncommon: I became too sick to work my job as an IT Manager (I have a neurological vertigo that makes me feel drunk all the time). But I could still talk dirty, and still enjoyed feeling sexy, so I thought I’d try it.

What I discovered after I started and got to know other PSOs via email and chat was that many PSOs have physical limitations which keep them from mainstream jobs, or they are taking care of ailing family members, or they have special needs children who make a regular work schedule impossible.

The flexibility of being able to log in to take calls from your home any time is a huge benefit to this line of work. Lucky for me, I loved a lot of things about being a PSO!

What was the first call like, were you nervous?

Once I got my profile written and posted, yes, absolutely, I was super nervous. I jumped whenever the phone rang for two days before my first call! Then, as it turned out, my very first caller mumbled a couple of difficult-to-hear questions at me, which I struggled to answer, and then hung up just a minute or two into the call. It was very discouraging!

But my next call lasted more than half an hour, with a lovely gentleman who wanted me to help him cross-dress as a woman and learn how to please men orally. We had a fantastic relaxed conversation about how I could help him become the girl of his dreams.

From there, I understood that my ability to be non-judgmental about people’s kinks was a great asset in this line of work, and most of the time, I just had to roll with whatever direction a caller pointed me.

What is the strangest thing you’ve been propositioned with?

A few callers clearly try for shock value by suggesting things they know are against the Terms of Service, or things that are illegal. I just hang up on them and block them so they can’t call me again. Thankfully, that has only happened about a dozen times out of thousands of calls.

But I have also had unusual requests which I didn’t mind trying to fulfill.

Someone wanted a few minutes of an audio recording of me blowing my nose first thing in the morning, which I recorded over a few days, and he paid me $25 for it and was delighted!

Another guy wanted me to imagine that aliens took over the Earth by mesmerizing us with their pantyhose! We had a great time wondering together how the takeover would unfold, and what their legs looked like in different kinds of hose. In that case, I pulled out my best creative storytelling energy.

Kelsey Foster dating advice

I feel bad for people with truly rare sexual desires, because it must be terribly frustrating to get those needs met. It always makes me feel good to help a kind-hearted person with an unfortunately infrequent kink.

Are most of your customers men? Have you had couples or women callers?

I have had two women callers: one was another PSO who insisted on calling my for-pay line to talk about the business even though I told her she could call me for free, and the other was a woman who apparently calls a lot of new PSOs, then never calls back the same PSO twice. That’s a shame, because she was amazingly fun to talk with!

I have never had a couple call, but I have offered, and I would love that.

Most phone sex callers are men, by far. A few male PSOs say they get calls from mostly women, but they are rare and fortunate from what I can tell.

What is the biggest misconception that women have of this type of work?

I think the biggest misconception is that you have to play some crazy character to be a PSO. You don’t. You can choose just to be yourself (of course I recommend using a false name and changing a few demographics for safety), with your own personality, your own sexual interests, and be honest. There are callers who will find that refreshing and fun.

However, that only holds true if you are working independently for a platform like NiteFlirt or TalkSugar where you write your own listing and attract your own callers. If you are working for a company who sends you calls, they may require you to try to have accents, or be a pre-determined character that is totally not you. I would find that much more difficult.

The other big misconception is that all the callers are creepy jerks. In fact, I found most callers to be kind, interesting, thoughtful people who happen to have unmet sexual needs and a desire for a personal interaction.

You are married, what did your husband think of this decision? Has it had any effects on your relationship?

My husband and I were not monogamous when I started doing phone sex: I had a lover on the side, and so did he. So he was not threatened by me exchanging sexual energy over the phone with someone else.

Mostly, he was extremely proud of me for finding a way to work even though I have a medical condition that would make many people stop trying. And he cheered me on as I became busier and more popular. Plus, the money was super nice – I took us out to nicer restaurants than we could have afforded otherwise, and he loves that!


I would assume that many of your customers are either married or in committed relationships, and I would also assume that many partners aren’t told. Do you think there are ways that people could open up to share these experiences with their partner?

I think it is a tricky topic. Certainly, if you are single and you enjoy phone sex, tell potential partners before you trap yourself into a lifetime of hiding an important part of yourself!

But for those who are already in relationships, and who have good reason to suspect their partner would be unhappy, I think it is a case-by-case call.

I think that sex is not always the top priority when we choose a life partner. Maybe the top priority is security, or how you would raise kids together, or political values, or shared hobbies, or whatever. But if your life works well with someone, especially if you are raising kids together, it is easy to downplay the importance of getting a particular sexual need met.

But let’s say you’re a strong, decisive male who is a leader in life, and your wife loves it when you take charge in the bedroom, and makes fun of effeminate or indecisive men. For most of your life, that may work very well, but what if you have the urge to hand over control to someone else in the bedroom now and then, but you’re pretty sure your wife would see that as weakness? That scenario is extremely common. Many callers to phone sex dominatrixes are from CEOs and community leaders.

I think that kind of situation is where professional phone sex can help a relationship stay together: to help someone meet needs which aren’t being addressed in their relationship, in a relatively low-risk way, so they can be the loving partner they want to be the other 99% of the time.

And I do think many romantic relationships would be stronger if both partners were allowed to openly and honestly exchange a little sexual energy with someone else now and then in low-risk ways. I know I find my husband sexier when I see other women flirt with him, and I love what he learns about himself (and about how to treat me better!) from other women.

I understand that ongoing non-monogamy isn’t an option for most couples, but maybe calling a phone sex operator now and then could be a fun way to get new ideas and add some spice!

*not her real name, so don’t bother snoopin’ my FB friends list 😉

Previous post:

Next post: